Is communication within a family really all that different?

Start with respect, and honesty. Treat all questions and answers respectfully. Often a subject of common interest to the group is a good way to break the ice, and get members participating.

Subjects like “can we start a family calindar? Get each member to mark birthdays, anniversaries and upcoming important dates like graduation dates or vacation time coming up. Once a calander is in play to give family members something to respond to, other dates will come into play.

Then there are interests, the younger kids are good at filling these dates. When you are learning about what the 4-H stock show coming up it is easy to get interested. What is your brother-in-laws favorite golfing day?

Well, if you felt you were already in the groove of what makes family conversations work and what doesn’t you wouldn’t be reading this.

So I am sharing what I have learned about making families able to communicate, assuming the subject matter appeals.

Yes, it is a multi-layered thing, this family communication!

And yes, even after all these years, I sometimes feel I am talking to myself.

Acceptable Subjects for Family Communications

However, most of the time there is responsive-conversational – communication that connects all of us in our family. Maybe some of these same ideas will work for your family.

Right now, we are staying in touch about the upcoming wedding of a granddaughter.

Is that all we write about? No even as great as the event will be, that would be a little much to start the family email every morning with an update on how things were going.

So is this subject acceptable for family communications?

For us, it is.

• She lives in and will be married in California.
• Most of the rest of the family lives in Texas.
• We would have a hard time physically interfering or trying to steer any decisions she didn’t need help with.

We will arrive a day or so before the wedding, leave a day or so after, and meantime, share the parts the young couple wishes to share. And leave private the ones they choose to keep private.

Even with a wedding going on, one member of our family has developed an ongoing interest in gardening. Flowers and food have captured her interest, and we are all sharing the successes and failures of her efforts.

If my granddaughter shares information or asks a question we are all so delighted. Our opinion is going for about $0.99 a pound!

Sharing Family News and Events

Do we care that there is an excess of opinion and less demand?

Not really, our opinion has been asked! Communication about the wedding goes on, and we get a chance to chime in, and everyone is happy.

She can safely pick and choose the opinions and not have to look us in the face and see us disappointed when another opinion is chosen over ours.

Can we always have a special event to discuss? No, not usually. But there will be more family things. We will be able to chat and participate through the family communication group.

Sometimes it will be school events, sometimes there will be lots of communication surrounding a job promotion, or a vacation. A family reunion with extended family. So much we get to do and share. We will have a confirmation for a grandson as soon as we return from the wedding.

As we have become more closely connected, we are enjoying these events as the treasure they are. A chance to spend time with our family. Even if the most time together is while reading communications. We feel that bit of support that happens when others offer encouragement.

If you would like your family to be closer, communicate more, and have more than funerals in common, a family communications group can get you started.

News Shattering Events Appreciated, but Not Needed.

To open dialogue that will grow stronger bonds and encourage an environment where each member feels heard and valued is not easy sometimes. But not so hard either. You can start with questions from the people you include in the email.

Questions like

• Does anyone have Granmom’s cinnamon roll recipe?
• What was the street Granmom and Grandad lived on?
• What year did you move away from home?
• Do we want a cool-weather family reunion or a warm-weather one?
• Where did Aunt Chris and Uncle Thomas meet?
• How old were Mom and Dad when they got married?

Simple questions keep the group answering, and involved and soon even the most reluctant family member will usually join in on occasion.

Pleading My Case for Emails.

However, achieving this level of communication isn’t always a walk in the park.

Families often encounter obstacles such as busy schedules, generational gaps, and varied communication preferences and skills that can disrupt the flow of conversations.

That’s where effective communication strategies come into play. Helping some family members improve their skills will result in everyone being able to participate. Often it is only tech skill that holds an older family member back.

Anyone can learn to read emails on various devices, and even peck out short responses.

Practical tips and approaches can bridge gaps and smooth out the wrinkles in family interactions.

In my opinion, having the right tools for communication can work wonders for any family’s dynamic.

This isn’t just about encouraging more talk. It’s also about improving the quality of conversations. Would your family benefit from getting to know each other better?

Dynamics of Family Communication

• Paying attention
• Indentifying different communication styles
• Reconizing the nuances of non-verbal cues
• Active listening

All of these fundamental family stepping stones for improving how you connect with your loved ones are important.

Respect and appreciation will usually go a long way in getting the conversation going within the family communication group.

Different families have different pulse rates when it comes to communication.

Some are like quicksilver, exchanging thoughts and feelings at breakneck speed, while others may need more time to articulate themselves fully.

Recognizing and adapting to these varied communication styles is vital.

Let’s focus on active listening. This isn’t just about hearing words; it’s about truly understanding the message being conveyed.

When family members practice active listening, they validate each other’s feelings and build stronger relational bridges.

You might be surprised to know that non-verbal cues often carry more weight than the words spoken.

A lot is happening very quickly with gestures, facial expressions, and tone of voice, and tuning into these subtle signals can offer deeper insight into what your family members are really trying to say.

 

Trust and Fairness

Communication is not just about having a conversation.

it’s also about the quality of that dialog.

A home where trust and openness flourish is one where people feel secure to share their inner thoughts without fear of criticism or dismissal.

Creating a non-judgmental space is crucial.

You want to ensure that when someone speaks up, they don’t immediately regret it due to a negative reaction.

It’s all about validating feelings, even if you don’t fully understand or agree with them.

Choose something that resonates with you and establishes a common ground for discussion.

Tapping into the power of vulnerability in communication can be a game-changer.

Encourage family members to be open about their fears, as well as their hopes, and dreams.

This isn’t just about surface-level chatter; it’s about diving deep into what really matters to each person. The trust you take the time to build is important in the life of a family group.

A Little More Effort When Begining

When honesty becomes the norm, the bonds within the family can reach new depths.

However, this level of communication doesn’t happen overnight.

It requires patience, consistency, and the gentle reinforcement of these transparent practices. But I assure you, the benefits are immense.

Strong connections are formed, and an unspoken understanding develops that, ‘I am here for you, no matter what.’

You can always make corrections if you need to, but setting the intention to encourage trust and openness from the start can make all the difference.

And remember, it’s okay to have missteps along the way as long as you’re committed to improving as a family unit.

Strategies for Resolving Conflicts Through Communication

Conflict is a natural part of any relationship, and families are no exception.

However, it’s not the conflict itself that’s the issue; it’s how you handle it that determines the health of your family dynamics.

I would like to share some practical strategies that you can use to navigate and resolve family conflicts with clear communication.

• Start with identifying the root cause of the disagreement instead of just reacting to the symptoms.
• This isn’t just about finding a quick fix; it’s about understanding each other’s viewpoints.
• Sit everyone down and give each person a chance to share their perspective without interruptions.

Don’t worry too much about assigning blame.

Focus instead on finding common ground and working towards a solution that is agreeable to all parties. Remember, the goal is to resolve the conflict, not win the argument.

‘I’ statements to express how you feel instead of pointing fingers with ‘you’ statements, which can put others on the defensive.

• ‘I feel upset when.
• .’ instead of ‘You always make me feel…’.

Actively listen to what the other person is saying, which means paying full attention, not just planning your next rebuttal.

Acknowledge their feelings and repeat back what you’ve heard to ensure you’ve understood correctly.

Lastly, it’s important to agree to disagree on certain matters.

Mutual respect for opinions, even if they differ, can help maintain peace.

Choose something that resonates with you and your family values when determining which issues can be left unresolved without bitterness.

No, you don’t have to agree on everything, but you do have to agree that it is ok to disagree.

Disagreeing is not enough reason to not join the family communication group.

Nor is disagreeing enough reason to drop out of the group.

The world is large enough for 2 opinions!

Sami’s take on ‘A Guide For Improving Your Family Communication Skills’

We have found that the complex yet rewarding realm of family communication in our tech-savvy world calls for give and take.

It’s crucial to acknowledge that technology, though sometimes a distraction, can also strengthen our connections with family members far and near.

You’re going to find out about how using technology can actually keep the family unit closer, especially when geography separates us.

It’s not just about sending a text or sharing a photo; it involves sharing experiences and moments in real-time, whether that’s through a video chat or playing an online game together.

However, it’s equally important to strike a balance ensuring that every family member feels heard and connected, both offline and online.

Talk to each other face to face occasionally.

Don/t take too much freedom with someone elses imformation and good will. Dpn’t be the one who refuses to join or be a part just because you refuse to be a part of the group.

And don’t allow one disgruntled member to weaken the whole group just because they want things their way.

Good luck with your family communications group.

Thank you,

Sami